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Ring Ring: The Unnamed Guardian

October 28, 2009

Ministers are considering changing the law so that in future the Children’s Guardian will not be a named individual with personal responsibility to the court but just an officer of Cafcass. Eighteen organisations including the Association of Lawyers for Children, NAGALRO, the British Association of Social Workers (BASW), the Children’s Commissioner and Royal College of Paediatrics are objecting to this proposal. Cafcass say they are not lobbying for it which makes one wonder just where this idea came from in the first place.  UPDATE. Now, Cafcass (although not “lobbying” say they “support” this change. Still not saying where the idea came from in the first place.

Anyway, the future will probably go a bit like this:-

Monday at Cafcass

ring, ring. Hello, it’s Billy Blog here. I want to speak to my Guardian

OK Billy, just a few questions (load of personal and intrusive questions “for security”) I’ll put you through

Hello, its Billy Blog here are you my Guardian?

Hi Billy. I’m Mary, your Guardian.

Mary, I really want to talk to you. Can you come to see me?

I’ll visit you tomorrow.


ring,ring. It’s Billy Blog here can I speak to Mary?

OK Billy, (interminable “security” questions) – I’ll put you through.

Why didn’t you visit me yesterday Mary?

I’m not Mary – it’s Jake here, I’m your guardian today. Mary’s left but I’ll visit you tomorrow.


ring, ring ……….. ring, – all our operators are busy (busy, busy)- ring ring

It’s Billy here why didn’t Jake visit me?

Who are you? I must warn you that abusive language will be reported and offenders will be prosecuted.

Eh? Billy here. I just want to speak to me guardian Jake

(security grilling). OK, I’ll put you through but watch your language.

Hi I’m your duty guardian, here to help and lend a listening ear.

What’s your name?

We don’t give out our names – its against data protection.

click bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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